I love this. Like, you know what’s REALLY not helpful? “COMPERSION IS REALLY GOOD YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE HAPPY WHEN YOUR PARTNERS ARE FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE AND IF YOU’RE NOT HAPPY THEN YOU’RE NOT BEING A GOOD PARTNER TO THEM AND IT’S PROBABLY JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE INSECURITY PROBLEMS” well actually yes I do, thanks for noticing. Now what? Not date anyone until I’ve had a 5-year course of therapy?
You’re not “doing poly wrong” if you can’t jump right on the compersion bandwagon. Poly people don’t flip a switch and magically stop ever feeling jealous, or insecure.
Having doubts is ok. Working through problems is what helps make relationships strong, not avoiding feelings because you don’t think you’re “supposed” to have them.
Now that I’ve felt compersion, I strive for it. I hope for it. I think the biggest thing I hope for at this time is that I can overcome anxiety and bring it down to just mild insecurity. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to that point, but it’s a goal that I’m working towards. ~D